fruit loops 36" x 36" commission

Here's the underdrawing of a commission for a "really big" bowl of fruit loops. In this pic we get a little peek into the sloppy work habits of Otto. I tend to "tidy up" in the painting and have a loose sketchy drawing for larger pieces.

The interesting thing is the chair. This just might be the very chair that a certain Dan Williams may have used to fight crime in a certain fictional branch of the Hawaiian state police that ONLY answered to the Govenor ( does every state have this?).

One would have to watch an episode to see the actual chair. Hint: its in his little office ( with no door , I might add ).

Oh, season five Y'all!! In season five we get the "V for Vashon" series ( I totally remember this being a BIG deal for my parents when I was a kid), Danno shoots another child, and we get Duke ( Steve pronounces it "DEE-yuke" in one syllable...amazing). Pin It Now!

slinky (homemade)

I was in Lowe's yesterday ( returning items for a project that seemed like a "great idea" at the time). The music they have in my Lowe's is FANTASTIC! I actually could have been out in 2 minutes, but they were playing so many good songs I couldn't leave. Hits like:

-Supertramp's The Logical Song

-Kenny Roger's The Gambler

-and...Chicago's searchin'

Searchin' was actually playing while I was at the register, and it was the end part where everything goes really symphonic and there's a great drum lick. I was so into it that I peeped out the "searchin'" part in the high-sweak-annoying-Cetera voice. Just a little peep. Then, this is the weird part, the cashier says NOTHING. I mean it was kinda subconscious and kinda not, but I also did it like 18 inches away from her face REALLY LOUD. All I could think of to say was "you like Chicago? ... There awesome, huh?"

She looked me like I was retarded and said "$2.21 is your change, thank you for shopping at Lowe's".

There was No Reply at All...


"slinky ( homemade)", 2008

10" x 5", oil on gessoed panel Pin It Now!

Lydia the Tattooed Lady - commission

This is a commission that I just finished and I actually took a few pics while I was working.



The person only specified an interest in a tattooed figure. I, obviously, thought of At The Circus ...right?




"Lydia the Tattooed Lady ", 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed hardboard

private collection

I'm finishing up some larger commission and gallery pieces and I'll have some new auction pieces up soon. Pin It Now!

"baby what a big surprise"

One time a guy asked me if I "liked Chicago". I said "do you mean the city or...?" and then I did a little fast high pitched trumpet noise thing with my mouth. He was talkng about the band. We both agreed that Chicago was cool up until the A.C. ( after Cetera) period. Chicago is actually one of my "tools to annoy" with. Doing the trumpet noise thing to the tune of "Twenty-five or Six to four" is one of the more effective tunes.

To be honest, I always like Chicago ( the city and band...with Cetera). I have a penchant for 70's "lite rock" also know by some as...crap. I like a little Gordon Lightfoot, Little River Band, Doobies ( yes, and some solo Mcdonald), and of course the one that I take the real beating for...Ambrosia. Another one that I like ( and like to make fun of) is David Gates and Bread. "I'd like to make it with you"? Good and bad...but mostly bad.

I'm afraid that in my quest to understand my enemy ( Al "year of the cat" Stewart) that I've been seduced by the dark side of AM rock. You win this round Terry Jacks!

"baby what a big surprise", 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel Pin It Now!

black and blue

I never watch TV just to pass time ( mouth open, bag of Cheet-Os, etc). I usually prefer DVD collections of TV shows. I either :

-use it for a little backround noise while I'm painting

-use it to deliberately make fun of a particular show ( this is often best with a group).

-Or ( and this is the best one) I use it to reunite with an old friend.

My current "old friend" is Cannon . Paramount screws you a little by selling these in 1/2 seasons of roughly 12 episodes ( they figure you'll take less of a financial "risk" if you don't shell out for a whole season), but its totally worth it. Its one of the reasons I work hard. Its fantastic!



I'll go into Frank Cannon later, but I have to say that seeing 1971 in all of its desaturated glory was thrilling. He drove a silver Lincoln Mark IV ( with cool red leather interior) that was roughly 37 feet long. You get to see Tom Skerritt sans moustache and Boss Hogg sans a redneck accent. Awesome!

I love William Conrad from radio shows ( He did a great one where he was a cowboy that had to defend his ranch against a swarm of flesh-eating ants), but Cannon is his masterwork. He uses his fat in an almost charming ( and disarming ) way. He uses a Judo chop to incapacitate his foes AND...he scuba dives.

Here' the best part ( and it gets better and better every time you hear it!):


"black and blue", 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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French Kisses

I remember when I was like 10 or 11 my parents took me to see "a big T.V. star" at the world congress center in Atlanta. I also remember two women getting into a physical fight over someone "cuttin' in line" while we were waiting. A couple years before, my parents had taken me to see Darth Vader. Most of you may not know this, but the real Darth Vader has a thick southern accent, "whut's yore naame littul bouy?". And see, I had always though that David Prowse was an Englishman. We live and learn.

I was always skeptical when we went on these "star" jaunts after the hillbilly-Vader debacle, but the fight got me kind of excited. Actually, it turned out to be another version of hillbilly-Vader only in a policeman's uniform: Sonny "Enos" Shroyer. There is no real point to the story other than my childhood had some periods of minor disappointment and that people will fight over anything.

Oh, the French word baiser in my picture is in the noun form. A common mistake that people make when using baiser is that they use it in the verb form. This can make for some occasional "confusion", but often enhances the meaning.


"french kisses", 2008

10" x 5", oil on gessoed panel

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trix

I was at the gas station this morning, and two guys in a truck pulled up to the pump next to me. When the two got out ( one to go inside and the other towards the pump) the music from inside the truck was so loud it would have killed a small animal.

Okay, my questions are:

-Were these two guys having a conversation through the use of screaming ( awkward and frankly, a little weird)?

-Or, were these guys sitting in silence listening to the music at this level ( even more weird and frankly, a little stupid)?

Trix is one of my favorite cerals. A few years back they changed from the little multi-colored balls to a shape that represented each "fruit" of the corresponding color. I never understood why, but they've since gone back to the little balls.

"trix", 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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"good morning... fruit loops"

My mom was fairly militant about breakfast cereal when my sister and I were kids living at home. My mom is the original mom who "likes Kix for what Kix has not!". Occasionally, a Frosted Flake or Cheerio would grace the cupboard, but usually there was an element of bran present. I know she was looking out for us in a loving mommy way, but c'mon man... Grape Nuts?

One of the perks of being a semi-adult is the ability to select one's breakfast cereal. Most of the ones that I now select involve a rabbit, toucan, leprechaun or captain. Seriously, if you read the ingredients on the boxes, the margin of sugar in the fun-time vs. bleghhhh ones is small.

Okay, I'll eat an apple afterwards, but the captain sails with me in the morn'.

"good morning... fruit loops", 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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bruised

Here's one to go on the list of "things I could never actually see myself buying" : Hello Kitty Band-Aids.

And this would be an example of someone possibly , shall we say, "over analyzing" the previously mentioned item.



You know...these Hello Kitty Band-Aids do, in fact, make that cut feel a little better. Thanks...( Hello ) Kitty!

bruised, 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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straw-bees

The inclusion of children in my life has greatly enriched me emotionally, psychologically and intellectually. One great example ( and this is usually family-specific...which makes it even more special) is the extension and enhancement of your vocabulary with respect to the first words that the kids start using. Some of my favorites are pee-pop ( AKA popsicle ), bloo-bee ( blueberry) and my favorite...straw-bee. The funny thing is that as the kid grows up and starts speaking with more clarity, you feel the need to continue using the kiddy versions of certain words. "Uncle Otto...you don't have to say straw-bee anymore".

Man, I felt like Iron-Eyes Cody on the side of the road after having some car throw a bag of Burger King at me.

Actually, I invariably end up using some of these words when I speak to adults. "Work-job" is one I'm not giving up. This is a word that my little niece applied to anything that you would tell her "had to be done". The great thing about about her word "work-job" is that its very apt in the way that it intensifies ( by doubling it -"work" AND "job") the idea of doing something that sucks. True that, baby!

straw-bee, 2008

8" x 8", oil on gessoed panel

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Apricot ( nocturnal)

Actually, this being "the peach state" and all, its a very rare occasion that I do get a decent peach in the grocery store. Apricots are worse. So, when I'm going through the checkout, I'm usually more focused on Mr. "paper or plastic" than on the person ringing up my stuff. I always have to rifle through my bag to get my more delicate items ( apricots, raspberries, origami sculpture...) out from under the heavier ones ( gallon of milk, bag of rock salt, anvil...). Several times, the bagging person looks at me like I stole one of his kidneys when make any "suggestions" toward his trade.

The other thing I don't like is the whole "would you like this bagged" thing. If I buy $200.00 worth of grocery items, I'm gonna need a way to get it out of the place. And, I use the little bags for a lot of little household things. Its not like I'm running to my local wildlife preserve and throwing all of my plastic grocery bags directly into a stream. Maybe I'm reading too much into the grocery store experience.

apricot ( nocturnal), 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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Peach Tee

I am a really bad golfer and I'm okay with it. I think my crappy golfing bothers the people I play with more than me. I see it as an opportunity to wander around lush landscaping with somewhat of a purpose ( "I MUST get the ball into that hole!!"). There's drinking of beer involved, and you get to drive a cool little car. I think others take it a little more seriously.

I love it when the ranger ( this is denoted by some guy who generally wears a hat that say's..."RANGER") come's by in his little cart to tell us to "Hurry up!" or "you guys need to tone down the language!!".

Thanks, "Dad"!

I also love the onslaught of little "tips" and "lessons" from EVERYONE with a bag of clubs. Some guy makes it on the green ONE stroke ahead of you and all of a sudden he's Fuzzy Zoeller?

Another favorite is when I hit a bad shot into the woods or into a lake ( on every hole ), I'm dropping another ball. This always gets the "Hey, didn't you already use your Mulligan?". The usual response is ( in the same tone as the person asking ) "Yes, Mr. ScoreMaster...I have...and...I'm going to use another one. I'm probably going to use one on EVERY HOLE.".

As bad as I am, I love playing with my uncle Rocky. I remember one summer in Ohio on a pretty nice PUBLIC course ( Yes, there's a difference), we were riding in the cart to our next shot. I noticed that there was a guy in the woods, another fishing one out of the lake with a stick, and a guy driving past us going the other direction looking for his ball. I gave him a puzzled look and before I could get out a word, he said ( and this is one of my favorite quotes on golf ) "Man, don't feel bad...everybody sucks!".

Another funny golf thing ( funny to me anyway) from Rocky is when you screw up a putt, he often says "Nice Read!!...Robert Reed!".

It just occurs to me that 90 % of the things in my "arsenal of funny" are things that only I find funny. "Robert Reed" doesn't come across as a real thigh-slapper in print.

peach tee, 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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raspberry sky

My sister and I used to spend the summer at my great grandparent's ( Jack and Lil's' ) house every year. They had a wonderful garden that we would pick fruits and veggies to eat for dinner every night. We would also pick blackberries and raspberries out of the neighbor's yard. His name was Joe Simms.

At the time ( early 1980's), Joe Simms was a 75 year old retired "carpenter". He smoked 200 cigarettes a day. He was about 5'7" and weighed about 94 pounds, and he wore the same dirty "wife-beater" undershirt with dress pants ( also dirty) every single day of the year. He was a carpenter and I assume his skill at his trade could be determined by the fact that he had roughly four fingers and a thumb remaining. He would hold his cigarette butts ( I say "butts" because I never saw him hold one over 2 cm long) between his thumb and pinky. To top it all off, he was a complete and total jerk. Always yelling at me, my sister, and my cousin to "get outta my Goddamn yard!!". I was like 10 or 11. This guy was a real cartoon character.

In my family, there is a thing called...a "Joe Simms" story. There are a million funny ones. Stories like the time he rode through the Wendy's drive-thru with his riding-mower because he had his driver's license taken away. The funny part is not the lawn mower through a restaurant drive-thru. The funny part is that they called the police on him becuase he had driven through with the blade down and inadvertently cut up the little cord that activated the speaker...and then attempted to evade the authorities.

One summer, my grandfather had shown us how to take a switch from his apple tree and fling apples with it ( he had a huge yard). One time Joe Simms yelled at us for flinging apples into his yard and said he was going to call "the cops on you little bast-edds". I ended up flinging one last apple as he was walking away and subsequently hit him in the back. We ran inside and lied to Gramma saying "everyone knows he lies...".

Actually, I think Grampa ultimately was the one who got in trouble for showing "the kids" the apple thing.

raspberry sky, 2008

8" x 8", oil on gessoed panel

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"kiss me you fool"

This was originally "kiss me, my fool" in the film A Fool There Was (1915) by Theda Bara. She was a hot, Sharon Stone-esque husband stealin' lady who used her "worldly knowledge" to seduce married men. This would have been new territory for the movies.

I like to fit cliches into my everyday dialogue. I've been trying to work in "It's quiet...too quiet" or " Ahh...It's only a flesh-wound". I think I missed my big chance recently on the latter when I go a splinter in my foot from my deck.


"kiss me you fool", 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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hot coffee

I drink a lot of coffee, but it's rarely hot. I'll pour it and start working on something, and it gets cold by the time I get to it. If I get "out coffee", it seems the attempt is made to make it similar to the temperature of the sun. This is not necessary. I've also been drinking it black for years. I don't want to get dependent on sugar / cream and not have any. I also think that if you get really good donuts or something that black coffee brings out the flavor a touch more.

I think that I've gone to such lengths to simplify my life that I over analyze these things.

Oh, Season Four of Hawaii Five-O comes out on the 10th. Its the last season with Kono. He'll be replaced with Duke ( formally generic-beat-cop-scene-filler-guy). My favorite thing is that Steve ( McGarrett) pronounces Duke with a little extra juice. He says DE-yuke, but fast. Hey, I need these things.



hot coffee, 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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bowl of kisses

Hershey has returned to the word "KISSES" on the little papers attached to the Hershey Kiss. There was a period there where "You the Man!" and "You Go Girl" seemed to slip into the new and hip world of Hershey. That sort of thing is similar to the capri pant for men...a bad idea.

I remember as a child wanting to go to Hershey, PA. I thought is was sort of an amercian "Wonka" town where there was free flowing river of chocolate that you could gorge yourself on endlessly. Incidently, in my version of Hersheytown there would be gaurds that would immediately arrest your parents during your stay in an effort to prevent any "complications" that might prevent you from your chocolate bender.


bowl of kisses, 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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enjoy

This is a funny thing I remember from my childhood. My Dad and his Mom always had somewhat of a contentious relationship. Soon after my grampa died ( Carl, a two-fisted drinking, gambling, carousing man's man), My grandmother started "dating" MUCH younger men ( 60's/20's ratio). This did not improve family relations.

Okay, we ( Mom, Dad, Sister, Grandmother and me ) were on a trip in Ocean City, Maryland having dinner on the boardwalk ( I was like 9 or 10). My grandmother ( rather flirtily with the waiter) said "Oh, Ha...Ha...I'll have a Diet Tab". Well, My old man in true smart ass form in his best Marvin Kaplan impersonation said "Oh yeah...Well I'll have a regular Tab". The look she gave him was burned into my brain. The how-dare-you-make-me-look-stupid-while-I'm-trying-to-flirt-with-some-stranger-in-front-of-my-grandchildren look. I always liked my Dad's willingness to call someone out in ANY situation.

enjoy, 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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12 inch Lifesavers

I love this little statue of Superman. Its exactly what I think of as Superman( barrel chested and smiling). I spend a lot of time listening to music and radio shows from the 40's and 50's. The Superman radio show from the 40's is very different from The Adventures of Superman television show of the 50's. Superman is a little more...violent on radio. George Reeves would have found a more passive solution.

Another thing that's kinda funny about the radio show is that Clark Kent would change into Superman EVERY TIME he used his powers. George would occasionally break a door or use his x-ray vision without breaking out the cape. Clayton "Bud" Collyer was the radio voice of Superman and was absolutely fantastic. He would change his voice from a lighthearted and fairly timid Clark Kent to a rough and tumble tough guy Superman when he changed ( "hmmm...well this might be a job ...FOR SUPERMAN!!").



lifesavers, 2008

12" x 12", oil on gessoed panel

private collection Pin It Now!

moon pie

The Moon Pie has some pretty sketchy lore ( It's like the Loch Ness monster of junk food). Apparently, Moon pie was "developed" by a construction worker framing his hands around the moon and saying, "Yeah, like about that big". Moon Pie was born in Chatta-Vegas, TN ( this was a term used by people I met in college from Chattanooga to point ot its lack of...whatever) around the turn of the century. The RC Cola / Moon Pie combo is in actual practice still to this day. I would advise anyone going to try this at home to pick up a shot of Insulin too.


moon pie, 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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I heard it through the vitis vinifera

Oddly, I resemble the little Fisher-Price girl as a child, and as an adult I resemble the bald boy ( or Ziggy, Charlie Brown, or basically any round object with a face on it).

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