moon pie

The Moon Pie has some pretty sketchy lore ( It's like the Loch Ness monster of junk food). Apparently, Moon pie was "developed" by a construction worker framing his hands around the moon and saying, "Yeah, like about that big". Moon Pie was born in Chatta-Vegas, TN ( this was a term used by people I met in college from Chattanooga to point ot its lack of...whatever) around the turn of the century. The RC Cola / Moon Pie combo is in actual practice still to this day. I would advise anyone going to try this at home to pick up a shot of Insulin too.


moon pie, 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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I heard it through the vitis vinifera

Oddly, I resemble the little Fisher-Price girl as a child, and as an adult I resemble the bald boy ( or Ziggy, Charlie Brown, or basically any round object with a face on it).

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granny hemingray

I finally found something to do with these! I have a collection of about 100 or so of these glass insulators. I was at at local flea market and some guy had a whole table full. There were a lot of cool colorful ones in different shapes and sizes. I asked him what he'd take for all of them and he said, " Man, I'll give you $20.00 if you take them off my hands". I didn't realize at the time what I'd do with 500 lbs worth of colored glass, but...I knew i'd do something with them.
As you can see, they make excellent individual fruit holders ( that you can't at any point touch the fruit, glass, or thing supporting it).

granny hemingray, 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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"hey there...big boy"

I have some pretty good memories growing up. My Dad uprooted us from Cleveland to rural Georgia when I was three. Well, all of my extended family ( grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc...) still lived in Ohio so this meant a fifteen hour car car ride every holiday. Although that ride REALLY sucked, one of the many travel "bright spots" was stopping at Frisch's Big Boy on the way. You could determine that you were getting into Yankee territory when you started to see the signs on the highway.

Okay, not that the food was memorable in any way, but they always had Big Boy comics . This would give my sister and I something to fight over in the car for the remaining seven hours. Very important arguments like : Who got "the good one" without any grease stains. Now, my sister and I fought over a lot of important things over the years, but those comic book fights were some of the most impassioned. These fights ranking only second to who got more of the little plastic steak markers at the Western Steer ( you know the blue, red, and green plastic markers that said "WELL", "MEDIUM WELL", "RARE" to denote how the steak was cooked). By steak, I mean a piece of brownish meat with black "grill lines" printed on it. Actually, it just now occurs to me why my Mom got so mad at the fact that we would take those little stakes off of other people's plates after they had left their tables. It now also occurs to me how stupid I was as a little kid.

"hey there...big boy", 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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pink toy elephant

In the days of old, when one "took to the spirits" a bit too much pink elephants somehow got thrown into the mix.

Speaking of elephants, there was an episode of The Adventures of Superman called "The Stolen Elephant" ( 1957) where some guys hold a baby elephant up for ransom. It was like an episode of CHiPs where ALL of the town's law enforcement resources are used to track down this elephant. Even worse, the bad guys ( one is actually named "Spike" ) hides the elephant in the barn of some kid who's having trouble adjusting to "country life". The kid bonds with the elephant ( who wouldn't?) and then the crooks come and take him back ( they have "papers").

The best part is when in order to find the missing elephant for the big night at the circus, the boy must recall a 17 digit number from the "papers" in order to find him. I think the magical memory powers of the elephant must have rubbed off on that kid.

Check out this!



pink toy elephant, 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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red zeppelin

My Mom is Estonian. Her parents escaped to the U.S. ( New York then to Cleveland, Oh) in the 40's to get away from Hitler and his boys when my Mom was a little girl. Three good little stories:

First, Mom wasn't allowed to wear anything red until she was in college ( fear of the "Comuuneest!!")

Second, My grandfather apparently was put to work by Nazis ( I don't think this was voluntary "position") as a bus driver. Right before they got out of the country, He is rumored to have driven a bus full of Nazi officers off a mountain cliff.

And third , My Mom really laid it on thick to my Sister and I ( as to how spoiled we were when we were kids) . We were often told of how she was so poor that as a child her only toys were potatoes.



red zeppelin, 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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scramble ( broken egg in bowl)

I often have the argument at home that if the yolk is broken at any point before eating...you toss it and start again. Gordon Ramsay ( super awesome chef/ philosopher/ business guru ) has the best quote about it. "Hey, What'ch you doin' mate? You can't serve that!! Its the customer's privilege to break the yolk you !@#$%!!"

I couldn't agree more. I know its wasteful ( 9 cents? ), but you have to draw a line in the sand somewhere.


scramble, 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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Hershey's Kiss

I buy candy all the time for the "home" ( my niece comes over every other day, Mom stops by, etc..). Its good to have treats around for all. I bought a bag of Hershey's Kisses, and as I was putting them into the candy bowl-thingy I noticed something. At first glance, one of the kisses appeared to have "F*** You" on the little paper attached to it. Certainly the good people at Hershey's weren't going full-on FOX TV?

No as it turns out, It said "You Rock" ( yeah, I know...), and the piece was ripped off at the "ck" and the "you" followed. A dirty optical illusion! I showed this thing to everyone, and most of the people I showed it to thought I had made the little paper.

Nice. Like I would put that much time and energy into such a adolescent joke!



hershey's kiss ( "you rock" or...), 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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cherries

Cherries are perfect! They are like tasty little sculptures ( I'm sure a good psychologist would have a field day with that...). when I was a kid, I once swallowed a cherry pit and my Grandfather told me that " a cherry tree is going to grow in your belly...heh!".

This was truly frightening to me. A tree growing inside of me like the Alien. Just waiting inside for me to eat spaghetti with Tom Skerritt and Yaphet Kotto before bursting out? No thanks! This was some off-shoot lie variation of the "you're eyes will stay like that if you keep crossing them" or " you'll go blind if you continue to...".

I never found out the "mystical penalty" for lying to children.


cherries, 2008

8" x 8", oil on gessoed panel

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Pink Telephone 12 inch

I spend a lot of time on the phone ( usually while I'm working). I REALLY prefer a phone call vs. email. To me, email is really a means to get phone numbers of people you want to talk to ( or to give numbers to people who want to talk to you). I tried sending my Mom an email a couple of times, but it seemed really weird. Too impersonal (and this was like giving movie times or something...). My feeling is that if you're going to take time to email a friend or your family, pick up that phone.

Well, I kinda understand people who email me instead of calling. I might tend to ramble...a little.

I put a small reserve ( 1/3 of gallery price) on this painting due to the larger size. I have to play ball with my galleries...a little.

pink telephone, 2008

12" x 12", oil on gessoed panel

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Evolution or Mr. Potato Head...Nude

The Kool-aid man gets pants but not Mr. Potato Head? Does Mr. Potato Head not pose the same "threat" to our children? A pitcher of powdered fruit drink has genitals? Invisible genitals? Does Mr. Potato Head have these as well?

Fun Fact:

The use of a food item in conjunction with the word "head" is always a great insult.

food + "head" = funny

Examples like:

"Okay, let's go talk to this meat-head..."

"Hey, banana-head...look what you're doing!"

"Hold on a sec', I have to call this potato-head back to see where my check "disappeared" to..."

I actually had to modify this Mr. Potato Head to accomodate the third arm. The past version had the arms already attached ( pre-'83). I have a 50's and 70's version of Mr. Potato Head, but to be honest ( and this is rarely the case), the current sculp is the most iconic looking. The previous guys also had a cool little pipe ( no more of that...). The current basic version comes with a moustache, glasses, different mouth, and...no pants.

On evolution:

If a meteor had not struck the earth millions of years ago, does that mean I would slide down the back of a Brontosaurus when I got off work?


evolution, 2008

8" x 8", oil on gessoed panel

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"when I take my sugar to tea..."

"I never take her where the gang goes..."? Sinatra was a Crip?

I wondered about "offending" people with a nude ( I always thought the word "nude" sounded a little pervy, but...) in one of my paintings. My favorite example of people having trouble with this is...Attorney General John Ashcroft. He spent $8000 of tax payer money to have Lady Justice draped for "aethetic reasons". That's good government!

Now I'm no activist for any pro-nudity special interest group ( to be fair, they've never contacted me either) , but I really don't understand people who have a problem with the naked body. I'm not saying to let your four-year old watch Deep Throat or anything, but I'm pretty sure that any "normal" person who looked at Lady Justice ( pre-drape) never went into any rapist frenzy.

Oh, if anyone is actually offended by my painting...I'll totally drape it for them.


"when I take my sugar to tea...", 2008

8" x 8", oil on gessoed panel

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an apple for the (bad) teacher

I've had some bad experiences with teachers over the years ( particularly with math related subjects).

Presenter: "...and the Academy Award goes to...Otto Lange!"

Announcer: This award goes to Mr. Lange for best use of crying to get out of being caught for cheating on an Algebra II test in 10th grade

Yeah, its true. I got full-on caught for looking at some girl's paper in the 10th grade. I wasn't even really cheating. Man, I was so lost in that class. I was just trying to see what the work should look like just so the teacher wouldn't think I was totally retarded. The teacher, we'll call her Ms. Bullock ( because that was her name...) was a total "Margaret Hamilton" about it too! "I have you now Mr.-makes-fun-of-my-hair-that-looks-as-hard-as-granite-because-I-use-way-too-much-hairspray! Who's sassy now?"

I had no choice. Try to explain my situation, and have her not believe me ( and get in A LOT of trouble). Or...do the soap opera cry ( you know, close you're eyes real tight, bite your lip, and turn away).

Hey, sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta.


"an apple for the (bad) teacher", 2008

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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Boing Boing

Hey! This is pretty cool...I got mentioned in something I actually read! Boing Boing!

Okay, and even more cool...the link next to mine has the Superfriends! Pin It Now!

pep-o-mints

I usually never take the little mints and candies they have at the register ( or on the way out of a restaurant), but I saw these and had to get them ( to paint). The problem was that I saw them and then went back into the restaurant after we had paid ( and left the building). I know I must have looked cool going back in when the manager guy asked if I had forgotten something and I awkwardly said..."No...I'll just ...hmmm...I'll take a few of these...okay...Thanks".


pep-o-mints, 2008

8" x 8", oil on gessoed panel

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12 inch Brown-knee

I wanted to do this one a little larger in order to noodle around with a little more detail. I really gave my tiny brushes a work out this time. The "real" gesso as opposed to the acrylic stuff is WAY more gentle on an expensive brush.

Okay, more importantly is the release of Hawaii Five-0 Season three on Tuesday. Five-0 is GREAT T.V.!! You've got super-cool Steve McGarrett who constantly fires off a staccato rhythm of self righteous mini-speeches every episode ( he's like the love child of Elvis Presley and Jack Webb). The opening credit sequence tells it all ( the camera zooming in from the coast to a penthouse where Steve just happens to spin around just to give us a little 5 second "taste" of his cool). Awesome!!

Seriously, the whole premise is a task force who answers only to the Govenor? Are the FBI, state and local police not enough? No! We need Steve!

The best is when Steve goes undercover as some kind of jewel thief or "box man" ( they like to throw this term around to let us feel like we're getting a little "peek" inside real police jargon...oh, its a safecracker). The awesome part is that he goes into, shall we say...character when he's "under". Lot's of "evil" grins and sinister looks.

There's actualy a Five-0 drinking game where you drink every time someone says "McGarrett"( you'd get sloshed on this alone); someone from Five-0 shoots an unarmed man ( every episode); or anytime someone answers the phone "Yes, Steve" without being told its McGarrett.

"brown-knee, 1955, 2008

12" x 12", oil on gessoed panel

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uncle dave...and some guy, 1937

When you look through your family photo albums is there always some guy that pops up that NOBODY KNOWS? There's this guy that is a recurrent character in all of our family photos that is referred to as "Phil or something". Its like on the ABC show Lost where every week there's some new hot chick or guy that shows up for some group shot. "Hey Man, Ethan's not on the manifest". Were there like 900 people on that plane?

uncle dave...and some guy, 1937, 2007

6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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dubble bubble

Here's a cool little piece of Georgia lore. The heir to the Dubble Bubble dynasty has one of the coolest collections of microcars in the world. This warehouse is like a half-hour from my house tucked away on a two-lane country road ( its REALLY out in the sticks...). The only way you would find it is if you were looking for it ( there's a tiny sign that reads "Dubble Bubble Acres"). Check THIS out!

I mean really, a giant museum of the coolest antique foreign cars in the world? In the middle of nowhere? This is one of the reasons why I love living here!

dubble bubble, 2007

8" x 8", oil on gessoed panel

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Viewmasters...again

I have two items here:

First, I'm wrong about this particular Viewmaster...kinda. The one I painted is from 1976 ( the bi-centennial model...red and blue), but this model spanned from the the late 50's to the late 70's.

Second, ebay pulled this listing because I said that I accept "cash" in the little payment instruction thingy. I've used this same since I started, but apparently I'm not supposed to accept cash. I've relisted this painting again in a 5 day auction, and I'm sorry for the confusion.

Oh, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Pin It Now!

hi - def, 1970

Most of the things I watch on TV will NEVER be released in "hi-def" or look right on a widescreen television. TV shows need to be viewed in the correct original aspect ratio, but movies should NEVER be watched in "Full Screen" ( these have been edited by a studio employee and usually NOT the actual director of the movie). Shows like The Incredible Hulk ( my favorite "bad" show...Bixby is priceless), Hawaii 5-0 ( season three comes out on the 22nd!!), Space 1999 ( Landau's comb-over...), and The Equalizer ( super awesome!! Edward Woodward as a super cool British version of Charley Bronson...and Stewart Copeland's music...Fantastic) will never get the high defintion treatment.

I love the employee at the electronics store who comes up and says," Hey Man, do you have the high defintion experience at home? You really need to get with the times." I always respond ," when The Six Million Dollar Man comes out in hi-def...then I'll get with the program...Man".

hi - def, 2007

8" x 8", oil on gessoed panel

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