Wednesday, November 07, 2007

honey



I have two "honey" stories:

First, my wife and I were eating at a Waffle House one time ( incidentally, I saw my sixth grade science teacher working there a few years back...turns out she didn't have a teaching degree. This is why I now cannot get a job at NASA!). The waitress kept calling me "Hoh-neh" in a passive-aggressive manner which I determined to be her version of "Honey". This is a sample:

Me: "Can I get some more coffee?"

Waffle House waitress: "Sure, Hoh-neh!"

Me: "Well...thank you...Hoh-neh!" ( with a lot of extra HOH-NEEHH ).

Waffle House waitress: "Be right back...Hoh-heh"

She never got it. Kept right on calling me and everyone else in the place "hoh-neh". The interesting thing was that she spoke very plainly for every word except "honey". I still call people "Hoh-neh!", but nobody really knows why.

The other story is when I was about 13 years old, my Uncle and his girlfriend and I stopped by his house on the way to the movies. He was checking his mailbox and and had received a giant container of honey from a friend with a note that said " You two ENJOY!". My uncle and his girlfriend exchanged some sort of giggly look, and I can remeber saying "Wow, you guys must really like honey!". At the age of 13, let's just say I was a little slow on the uptake.

honey, 2007
6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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Sunday, November 04, 2007

oh pear



Have you seen Supernanny? I'm pretty sure that my parents would have been too embarassed to display their ignorance about parenting on national television ( had that been the case...). I love the scenes where the kids on the show run around and scream and say " I HATE you Mom and DAD!". The parents say "here's some toys and candy...we love you Throckmorton", and then they look around with some confused expression as to WHY the kids are bad.

I'm also pretty sure that if my parents had brought in some hot British nanny to "discipline" me...I would have "straightened" up pretty quick ( the accent goes a long way).

Why does everything I say come out sounding adolescent and dirty?

oh pear, 2007
6" x 6", oil on gessoed panel

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